By Muffet Dolar Villegas
Time, The Great Equalizer
“Lost yesterday,somewhere between sunrise and sunset, two golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes. No reward is offered for they are gone forever.” Horace Mann wrote.
Time is the greatest equalizer. Everyone has 24 hours, no more and no less. Time lost is gone forever.
Hibiscus or gumamelas or Antulang are beautiful and fleeting. Those which bloom today are gone tomorrow. I collect these flowers with different hues and watch them bloom in just a single day. So to preserve them, I take pictures and paint them forever on canvas or acid free paper.
One of the greatest lessons I learned in life with cancer is that time is a beautiful gift. Most people I met, who have been through this ordeal, seems to have an extraordinary zest for life.
I can’t forget my friend and classmate inside the chemotherapy room, Gingging, who would come inside the room, brimming with smile, thin, bald but beautiful. She wore nothing on her head. She was proud that she was bald and lovely. Her enthusiasm was contagious. She would ask the nurses to find a vein somewhere else , to give her room to move her arm and hand.
She taught me that if I want to draw or paint while having chemotherapy (so she can watch and learn,) I can ask them to free my hand and find for veins somewhere else to use for intravenous. It worked for the first few sessions, but later the good sturdy veins ran out as more sessions continued.
Sometimes at the end of a session, she would become weak, and closed her eyes, most of us do, feeling the intensity of the different chemicals flowing inside our veins.
Most of us wanted our time to go slow, but at the same time we wanted the treatment to be over.
Finally it was, and now we take one day at a time. The precious hair came back, but some of us continue to count the days and wait for that day when remission is over and life ends as it was expected.
Shall we live longer to wait for death?
Shall we not welcome each day with joy in our hearts, not regret, but enthusiasm? In psalms 118 it says, This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”
Each day is short, so let us love everyday, or take time for someone.
I was touched with what Kojak wrote about his father last week, When his dying dad offered his blue eyes for someone to use. It was a beautiful heart with beautiful blue eyes. I love your column. I get encouraged everytime I read them.
Summer at Tambobo Bay
oil on canvas
Watercolors
$2.00 (handpainted notecards)
Monday, May 16, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Stay Plugged In
Stay Plugged In
I found the story of the cinder and the lamp in one of our old devotionals that is very interesting as I face more challenges in life.
Henry Ward Beecher wrote, “A cold cinder and a burning lamp started out one day to see what they could find. The cinder came back and wrote in its journal that the world was dark. It did not find a place wherever it went in which there was light. Everywhere was darkness. The lamp when it came back, wrote in its journal, ‘wherever I went it was light. I did not find any darkness in my journey. The whole world was light.’ What was the difference? The lamp carried light with it and illumined everything about it. The dead cinder carried no light, and found none.”
Every day is a journey. Sometimes we wake up in a sunny day and in other times the sky is gray. Good days are when the doctor says you are on remission and bad days are when you are back to the same white walls. How can you rejoice if you are dying or you can’t hold your job? How can you smile if you lost a baby or someone you love was figured in an accident? Believe it or not, our emotions may depend on our circumstances.The pain we carry around spreads like a contagious disease.
It is easier to be a cinder rather than a lamp. It is easy to find faults of people and situations and inflict pain rather than praise, to grumble rather than to give thanks.
If you are a boss, you find relief by releasing your anger and frustrations to your employees and make them feel like you. Misery loves company.
Parents can make their children feel inadequate, always short of their expectations, pushing them to their limits to make up for their own failures they had made in the past.
If you have parents, there is always someone to be blamed why you have shortcomings. It has to be their responsibility not yours.
It takes a higher challenge to be a lamp. Can you rise above the circumstance or beyond the ordinary self? Can you see the flowers beyond the rain? Do you find diamonds in the mud? Have you given up hope to a seemingly hopeless situation?
To be a lamp is to be plugged in all the time to the ultimate source of light and love. His lamp never goes out even in the strongest of storms. His love is constant no matter who you are. Your sense and purpose is not determined by others but how God fits you in an intricate design He has made.
The moment you unplug yourselves from that connection, you die inside. A day becomes a long stretch of barren land, with no tree in sight. You are alone.
Every single day has its own purpose and rewards. Stay plugged in.
I found the story of the cinder and the lamp in one of our old devotionals that is very interesting as I face more challenges in life.
Henry Ward Beecher wrote, “A cold cinder and a burning lamp started out one day to see what they could find. The cinder came back and wrote in its journal that the world was dark. It did not find a place wherever it went in which there was light. Everywhere was darkness. The lamp when it came back, wrote in its journal, ‘wherever I went it was light. I did not find any darkness in my journey. The whole world was light.’ What was the difference? The lamp carried light with it and illumined everything about it. The dead cinder carried no light, and found none.”
Every day is a journey. Sometimes we wake up in a sunny day and in other times the sky is gray. Good days are when the doctor says you are on remission and bad days are when you are back to the same white walls. How can you rejoice if you are dying or you can’t hold your job? How can you smile if you lost a baby or someone you love was figured in an accident? Believe it or not, our emotions may depend on our circumstances.The pain we carry around spreads like a contagious disease.
It is easier to be a cinder rather than a lamp. It is easy to find faults of people and situations and inflict pain rather than praise, to grumble rather than to give thanks.
If you are a boss, you find relief by releasing your anger and frustrations to your employees and make them feel like you. Misery loves company.
Parents can make their children feel inadequate, always short of their expectations, pushing them to their limits to make up for their own failures they had made in the past.
If you have parents, there is always someone to be blamed why you have shortcomings. It has to be their responsibility not yours.
It takes a higher challenge to be a lamp. Can you rise above the circumstance or beyond the ordinary self? Can you see the flowers beyond the rain? Do you find diamonds in the mud? Have you given up hope to a seemingly hopeless situation?
To be a lamp is to be plugged in all the time to the ultimate source of light and love. His lamp never goes out even in the strongest of storms. His love is constant no matter who you are. Your sense and purpose is not determined by others but how God fits you in an intricate design He has made.
The moment you unplug yourselves from that connection, you die inside. A day becomes a long stretch of barren land, with no tree in sight. You are alone.
Every single day has its own purpose and rewards. Stay plugged in.
Priorities
Priorities
It was difficult to tell whether he was aware that he would die in a few months or not. His doctor said that the extent of metastases to his other organs was massive. But his calmness and hopefulness baffled his family. They wanted to tell him about the truth. His last wishes meant a lot to them. But the consequence might be more fatal than death itself. Depression might pull him down and the precious few months will turn into nothingness.
How do you talk about death? How do you break the news and allow it to sink and never be afraid? Who would dare to break the news? Are you brave enough?
This is a common dilemma to those who have encountered the big C. Others die without even knowing that they had cancer. Others simply didn’t want to know, or even cared.
It is easy to ask someone what clothes is she going to wear when she attends a birthday party. But choosing a dress that leave the last impression to her family and friends forever is another story. Most answers might be “That’s the least of my worry.” But what if she does? What if she wanted something special to make a meaningful exit? What if she had set aside many things that she had wanted to do in life thinking that there will always be time for that? What if she had waited for the right moment to tell her husband how much he had made her life complete? What if she had reserved some praises for her children, words like, “I thank God that He gave me wonderful children who made me very happy and proud?”
There is nothing wrong with hoping and praying and bargaining with God for more years… but sometimes His answer is Yes and sometimes No. We all live in a borrowed time. We live by His grace.
Five years ago, I was confronted with my own mortality when I had invasive breast cancer. Surgeries and chemotherapies followed. There were good days and dark moments. My oncologist gave me a hint that preparing a video of myself would be helpful to my family to preserve memories.
I reflected upon it thinking that to be prepared at all times wont alter God’s appointed time. I always believed that God’s plan is perfect. His purpose is always good. Death can be a taboo to humanity, but for those who hope in the salvation by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, death is just a beginning of an eternity.
It was difficult to tell whether he was aware that he would die in a few months or not. His doctor said that the extent of metastases to his other organs was massive. But his calmness and hopefulness baffled his family. They wanted to tell him about the truth. His last wishes meant a lot to them. But the consequence might be more fatal than death itself. Depression might pull him down and the precious few months will turn into nothingness.
How do you talk about death? How do you break the news and allow it to sink and never be afraid? Who would dare to break the news? Are you brave enough?
This is a common dilemma to those who have encountered the big C. Others die without even knowing that they had cancer. Others simply didn’t want to know, or even cared.
It is easy to ask someone what clothes is she going to wear when she attends a birthday party. But choosing a dress that leave the last impression to her family and friends forever is another story. Most answers might be “That’s the least of my worry.” But what if she does? What if she wanted something special to make a meaningful exit? What if she had set aside many things that she had wanted to do in life thinking that there will always be time for that? What if she had waited for the right moment to tell her husband how much he had made her life complete? What if she had reserved some praises for her children, words like, “I thank God that He gave me wonderful children who made me very happy and proud?”
There is nothing wrong with hoping and praying and bargaining with God for more years… but sometimes His answer is Yes and sometimes No. We all live in a borrowed time. We live by His grace.
Five years ago, I was confronted with my own mortality when I had invasive breast cancer. Surgeries and chemotherapies followed. There were good days and dark moments. My oncologist gave me a hint that preparing a video of myself would be helpful to my family to preserve memories.
I reflected upon it thinking that to be prepared at all times wont alter God’s appointed time. I always believed that God’s plan is perfect. His purpose is always good. Death can be a taboo to humanity, but for those who hope in the salvation by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, death is just a beginning of an eternity.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Which is More Important?
Priorities
It was difficult to tell whether he was aware that he would die in a few months or not. His doctor said that the extent of metastases to his other organs was massive. But his calmness and hopefulness baffled his family. They wanted to tell him about the truth. His last wishes meant a lot to them. But the consequence might be more fatal than death itself. Depression might pull him down and the precious few months will turn into nothingness.
How do you talk about death? How do you break the news and allow it to sink and never be afraid? Who would dare to break the news? Are you brave enough?
This is a common dilemma to those who have encountered the big C. Others die without even knowing that they had cancer. Others simply didn’t want to know, or even cared.
It is easy to ask someone what clothes is she going to wear when she attends a birthday party. But choosing a dress that leave the last impression to her family and friends forever is another story. Most answers might be “That’s the least of my worry.” But what if she does? What if she wanted something special to make a meaningful exit? What if she had set aside many things that she had wanted to do in life thinking that there will always be time for that? What if she had waited for the right moment to tell her husband how much he had made her life complete? What if she had reserved some praises for her children, words like, “I thank God that He gave me wonderful children who made me very happy and proud?”
There is nothing wrong with hoping and praying and bargaining with God for more years… but sometimes His answer is Yes and sometimes No. We all live in a borrowed time. We live by His grace.
Five years ago, I was confronted with my own mortality when I had invasive breast cancer. Surgeries and chemotherapies followed. There were good days and dark moments. My oncologist gave me a hint that preparing a video of myself would be helpful to my family to preserve memories.
I reflected upon it thinking that to be prepared at all times wont alter God’s appointed time. I always believed that God’s plan is perfect. His purpose is always good. Death can be a taboo to humanity, but for those who hope in the salvation by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, death is just a beginning of an eternity.
I started my compilation, and painted more big canvasses to leave something like a legacy to my family. I created blogs and websites for my paintings and other artists who like to include their works. I documented my paintings and poems in keynote presentation to keep those who would attend my vigil from getting bored. My daughter Magenta is also my closest friend. We have talked about future plans that maybe weird to those who consider death as morbid. I need someone in my family who is brave and has an open mind about issues like that. To prepare is not about losing faith, but respecting God’s own plan.
I began to teach passionately, telling my students how blessed they are and how wonderful to be alive, and today is special, not to be wasted, but cherished, for it will never come back. I wanted to impart knowledge without holding back.
I didn’t even notice that my youngest son wanted more of my company in watching TV than seeing me in front of my easel or teaching. To him, what matters most is the family’s togetherness, counting days to have a trip to the mall, spend time with relatives, visit the farm, eat spaghetti together or simply being complete as a family.
Facing the reality of life and death as a matter of natural cycle is not easy. But it makes a lot of difference when we make the most of our time while it lasts. When I forget my priorities, my family reminds me that I can be replaced easily as a teacher, but not as a wife and mother.
It was difficult to tell whether he was aware that he would die in a few months or not. His doctor said that the extent of metastases to his other organs was massive. But his calmness and hopefulness baffled his family. They wanted to tell him about the truth. His last wishes meant a lot to them. But the consequence might be more fatal than death itself. Depression might pull him down and the precious few months will turn into nothingness.
How do you talk about death? How do you break the news and allow it to sink and never be afraid? Who would dare to break the news? Are you brave enough?
This is a common dilemma to those who have encountered the big C. Others die without even knowing that they had cancer. Others simply didn’t want to know, or even cared.
It is easy to ask someone what clothes is she going to wear when she attends a birthday party. But choosing a dress that leave the last impression to her family and friends forever is another story. Most answers might be “That’s the least of my worry.” But what if she does? What if she wanted something special to make a meaningful exit? What if she had set aside many things that she had wanted to do in life thinking that there will always be time for that? What if she had waited for the right moment to tell her husband how much he had made her life complete? What if she had reserved some praises for her children, words like, “I thank God that He gave me wonderful children who made me very happy and proud?”
There is nothing wrong with hoping and praying and bargaining with God for more years… but sometimes His answer is Yes and sometimes No. We all live in a borrowed time. We live by His grace.
Five years ago, I was confronted with my own mortality when I had invasive breast cancer. Surgeries and chemotherapies followed. There were good days and dark moments. My oncologist gave me a hint that preparing a video of myself would be helpful to my family to preserve memories.
I reflected upon it thinking that to be prepared at all times wont alter God’s appointed time. I always believed that God’s plan is perfect. His purpose is always good. Death can be a taboo to humanity, but for those who hope in the salvation by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, death is just a beginning of an eternity.
I started my compilation, and painted more big canvasses to leave something like a legacy to my family. I created blogs and websites for my paintings and other artists who like to include their works. I documented my paintings and poems in keynote presentation to keep those who would attend my vigil from getting bored. My daughter Magenta is also my closest friend. We have talked about future plans that maybe weird to those who consider death as morbid. I need someone in my family who is brave and has an open mind about issues like that. To prepare is not about losing faith, but respecting God’s own plan.
I began to teach passionately, telling my students how blessed they are and how wonderful to be alive, and today is special, not to be wasted, but cherished, for it will never come back. I wanted to impart knowledge without holding back.
I didn’t even notice that my youngest son wanted more of my company in watching TV than seeing me in front of my easel or teaching. To him, what matters most is the family’s togetherness, counting days to have a trip to the mall, spend time with relatives, visit the farm, eat spaghetti together or simply being complete as a family.
Facing the reality of life and death as a matter of natural cycle is not easy. But it makes a lot of difference when we make the most of our time while it lasts. When I forget my priorities, my family reminds me that I can be replaced easily as a teacher, but not as a wife and mother.
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