ROLLERCOASTER RIDE!

A Journey through cancer
By Muffet Dolar Villegas
March 30,2008
God and Me in a Rollercoaster Ride

It has been three years of riding in a roller coaster world of cancer with God. If others are eager to know their lotto numbers result, cancer warriors are dying to know their number in the cancer marker range. I’m not good in numbers and always had difficulty in math and statistics, but now, numbers became very important to me. Our life seems to be measured by numbers.
I just received my latest breast cancer marker result and its within normal range of 5 inside the laboratory of Cebu cancer Institute. I was happy like a child, telling my husband that we had to celebrate and thank God for answered prayers.
But the next day, other results of scans were not good, like my uterus needs more follow up scans within few days time. There will be more challenges to face in the coming months. I like to be depressed and cry, which I did for a short time, but I know God is healing me. Nothing can change that.
The life of a cancer warrior is like riding in a roller coaster. Days and weeks can fly so fast that you can’t keep track of them, in other times they crawl, especially during various medical treatment and you want the days to be over. In darkest nights you feel like you are falling, just falling endlessly. You try to hang on, grasp anything or hold on to anything but your hands are merely grasping in the air. You laugh today and cry tomorrow. There were tears mingled with laughters.
In the hallways and clinics and treatment rooms, a mixture of emotions were written in many faces. Colorful bandanas wrapped my friends’ bald heads. Absent eyelashes seemed to make us shy, not really wanting to meet scrutinizing eyes. But deep within us, our hearts are crying out for hope and love, and faith that moves mountains.
There are many things I want to do, that if life is really that short, may I know which is most precious to please my God?
I always love to play over my radio program that song by Gorge Strait entitled, “I saw God today”. Actually, God’s fingerprints are all over us and around us. We see Him in flowers and all the beautiful things He made. You can touch Him through that little baby you are holding. Life is a gift. You want to know if God is real? His greatest miracle is you.
Life of a cancer warrior maybe tough, but the real excitement is living each day filled with His miracles and graces. You can see God everyday. He is everywhere. You can see Him in each flower that blooms, in every moonrise, sunrise and sunsets. He leaves His fingerprints in every thing.